#scottparkerfacts

Scott Parker is a mans man. The England midfielder is the type of boy any girl would take home to meet her mother. The kind soul that would help an elderly lady swap a tyre round on the side of a road and one that would happily do so in the pouring rain. Therefore, some research has been done and after trudging through Twitter for minutes upon minutes, below are the best Scott Parker facts that we have found. Enjoy!

When Greeks created Atlas,they modeled and named him after Scott ‘Atlas’ Parker,the man who carried the world on his shoulders.

Scotty was invited to Buckingham Palace to meet the Queen, she bowed down to him.

Scott Parker doesn’t pay tax. The HMRC pay his taxes for him.

Tiger Wood’s wife screamed when she swung at him with a 4 iron “why can’t you be more like Scott Parker”.

Scott Parker doesn’t use twitter. If he wants people to know what he’s thinking, they’ll know. 

Scott Parker looks exactly as he did in the 1950s, because Time itself is scared of him.

Scott Parker’s performances recently have unsettled global capitalism, which he also invented.

I wouldn’t bother voting in X-Factor. Scott Parker makes the decisions around here.

Decades end when Scott Parker says they does, but he was not responsible for the 90s as occasionally he delegates.

Scott Parker doesn’t do press ups, he pushes the earth downwards.

Scott Parker and Superman had a fight and the loser had to wear their underpants outside their trousers.

Scott Parker can slam a revolving door.

Scott Parker once beat the ball in a game of tennis.

Scott Parker can divide by zero.

When Scott Parker jumps in a swimming pool, he doesn’t get wet, the water gets Scott.

There is no such thing as global warming, Scott Parker was cold so he turned the sun up.

Scott Parker ordered a Big Mac from Burger King and got it.

Scott Parker could have built Rome in a day.

There we have it, these are a pick our favourite Scott Parker facts. If you need to see more, simply search #scottparkerfacts on Twitter for some more Parkerific fun.

Ben McAleer