Yes, I’m still angry at Chris Foy. I thought ‘have a few beers, sleep on it and you’ll be fine again in the morning’. So I awoke at the ripe time of 8am, grab a quick coffee and flick on Sky Sports News and what is the first thing I see? Chris Foy. The same rage that filled my body during the second half of yesterday’s 2-1 defeat was back. Despite a good sleep and a relaxing evening, I was furious once again.
I couldn’t help it and it got me thinking of what I would rather do than see Chris Foy officiate a Spurs game ever again. Below are a number of the activities I would rather partake in:
- Sit in a room full of chlorine gas
- Watch the Notebook
- Grill my hand
- Eat my grilled hand
- Go and watch Arsenal play
- See Harry Redknapp field a full strength team in the Europa League
- Swap Gareth Bale for Bradley Wright-Phillips
- Let Ryan Shawcross into my house
- Give him a cup of tea
- Let Arsene Wenger babysit my children (when I have children)
- Pick up my dog’s poo bare-handed
- Smear the above on my face
- Support Celtic
- Sit in a bath-tub full of acid
- Play soggy biscuit against myself
- Purposefully lose soggy biscuit against some friends
- Eat a chocolate cake
- Eat my own sick
- Argue that Stoke play better football than Barcelona
- Argue that Barcelona are worse than Stoke
- Compare Peter Crouch to Lionel Messi
- And mean it
- Walk to Ukraine
- Cheer on England and mean it
- Roll around in my own filth
- Play with some C4
- Throw petrol on a fire
- Set fireworks off down my trousers
- Challenge Mario Balotelli to a sword fight
- Stand over Roy Keane when he goes down injured and accuse him of diving
- Adopt a snow leopard
- Fight a shark
- Eat yellow snow
- Eat brown snow
- Wear a vest
- Wear a thong
- Attempt to make friends with the ‘Go Compare’ guy
- Have sex with a lady boy
- Fail to send on a chain message and risk the wrath
- Reply to a spam e-mail with my full bank account details
- Take Viagra before a night out
- Play Vedran Corluka ahead of Kyle Walker
- Justify my decision
- Shop in Lidl’s
- Embrace Jacamo
- Watch two-and-a-half-men and enjoy it
- Fight the empire without my lightsabre
- Wax my nipples
- Talk to an iPhone 4s and pretend I have a friend
- Drink milk fresh from a cow’s udder
Just a few I could think and I’m sure there are more but that is how much I despite Chris Foy now.
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