Connect with us

ARTICLES

Will Tottenham hit the bullseye with their transfer targets?

The transfer window is always a testing time for Spurs. The club’s prized assets are linked with a move away from White Hart Lane and it’s always a pain in the backside for the North London side. Nevertheless, it’s always good to take a light hearted approach to the window, as Alan Robins sets out to prove.

Published

on

White Hart Lane; a phone rings in the Tottenham Hotspur Head Coach’s office

AVB: Stou…sorry hello

DL: André, its Daniel can you pop along to see me, I’ve been thinking about January and I’d like to finalise our transfer targets.

AVB: Claro..muito bêm..I’ll be there shortly.

A short while later AVB knock on Levy’s door and enters

AVB: Daniel, I’m glad you called. There is only a few weeks to the start of the window and as you said, we need to decide what we are going to do.

DL: Exactly, so tell me…..what are you like at darts?

AVB: Desculpe, sorry..what?

DL: Darts, what are you like at darts?

AVB: I don’t understand.

DL: Hmm, maybe I just better show you.

Levy opens a curtain to reveal a large dartboard with 8 black segments, 8 red numbered segments and bullseye

AVB: Daniel what is this?

DL: Its simple André, you have nine darts, for every red segment you hit, you win a transfer bid for the player behind that number, unless you hit it twice.

AVB: This is a joke right?

DL: No, no! Harry did this last January. He wasn’t very good though. He only won Saha and Nelsen.

AVB [still thinking this is a joke]: Ok Daniel, ok, I’ll play along.

DL: Good, good. Now remember. Keep out of the black, and in the red; there’s nothing in this game for two in a bed.

AVB steps up to the oche and throws his first dart straight into red number 1

DL: Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiin one. It’s Wilfried Zaha

AVB turning: Do you have to do that Daniel, it’s off putting and where the hell did you get that microphone?

Levy smiles, AVB turns back to the board and throws the next three darts in black. His fifth dart hits the bullseye

DL: And Bully’s Special Priiiiize….João Moutinho

AVB [getting into this now, grins and punches the air]: Yes!!!

The next dart hits the red number 8 segment

DL [a bit quieter now]: iiin 8 – Christian Eriksen

AVB: You know Daniel, I’m quite enjoying this

And then hits the 8 again

AVB: Merda

His eighth dart hits the black. With his final dart you can see AVB’s determination to get another red. He takes his time and throws the dart cleanly into the red number 7.

DL: Iiiiin 7 – Willian

AVB: Ótimo, so Daniel you’ll be putting in bids for Zaha, Moutinho and Willian right?

DL: Hold on André, we’re not finished yet! Are you prepared to gamble those three transfers for the star prize. Six darts to score 101 on a normal board. Get it and you get these transfers and the star prize. If you don’t – then we’ll have a quiet January. You’ve got the time it takes for the board to revolve to tell me what to you’d like to do.

AVB, thinking he’s done quite well so far, decides to gamble. He steps up to the oche again. The first dart hits a 20, then 5 followed by treble 5. Starting to get a bit nervous, his fourth dart slips out of his hand – straight into double 12.  Two darts left. The fifth goes into the middle of the 20. Last dart 17 needed, he goes for it, and hits the 3.

DL: Never mind André , let’s look at what you could have won….It’s Radamel Falção

AVB: Não! Fodes! Fodes! Fodes!

AVB walks despondently to the door ..

DL: Hold on André, I have something for you

AVB: What is this?

DL: A Bendy Bully.. ok bye now, talk to you later

Levy sits, put his feet on his desk and leans back with his hands behind his back and smiles.

DL: Aaaah! Super, smashing, great.



5 Comments

5 Comments

You must be logged in to post a comment Login

Leave a Reply

Spurs Transfer News

Rasmus Hojlund was on Tottenham Hotspur's radar. Rasmus Hojlund was on Tottenham Hotspur's radar.
ARTICLES1 hour ago

Tottenham Hotspur asked for 20-year-old star before Manchester United transfer

Tottenham asked for Manchester United striker Rasmus Hojlund earlier this summer Tottenham Hotspur fans were in for a surprise this...

New shot-stopper Guglielmo Vicario sends a message to Tottenham fans. New shot-stopper Guglielmo Vicario sends a message to Tottenham fans.
ARTICLES6 hours ago

New Tottenham star on the bloc pays his respects to supportive Tottenham fanbase

New shot-stopper Guglielmo Vicario sends a message to Tottenham fans Guglielmo Vicario, Tottenham Hotspur’s new goalkeeper has taken to Instagram...

Tottenham looking to sort the future of Hugo Lloris this week. Tottenham looking to sort the future of Hugo Lloris this week.
ARTICLES6 hours ago

Tottenham looking to sort out the future of out-of-favour veteran this week

Tottenham looking to sort the future of Hugo Lloris this week According to the Daily Mail, Tottenham Hotspur are looking to...

Gary Lineker urges Tottenham Hotspur to sign Evan Ferguson. Gary Lineker urges Tottenham Hotspur to sign Evan Ferguson.
ARTICLES8 hours ago

Gary Lineker urges Tottenham to sign new Premier League star on the bloc

Gary Lineker urges Tottenham Hotspur to sign Evan Ferguson 18-year-old Irish striker Evan Ferguson of Brighton and Hove Albion scored...

Reliable journo refutes claims of £40m deadline day Tottenham bid for English star. Reliable journo refutes claims of £40m deadline day Tottenham bid for English star.
ARTICLES1 day ago

Romano refutes claims of deadline day Tottenham bid for Chelsea star

Fabrizio Romano reveals that Tottenham did not make a £40m bid for Chelsea star Conor Gallagher According to Fabrizio Romano...

Ange Postecoglou rejected the opportunity to bring Jota to Tottenham Hotspur. Ange Postecoglou rejected the opportunity to bring Jota to Tottenham Hotspur.
ARTICLES1 day ago

Age Postecoglou vetoed Tottenham Hotspur reunion with former Celtic star

Ange Postecoglou rejected the opportunity to bring Jota to Tottenham Hotspur According to Graeme Bailey of 90min (h/t The Glasgow...

Ben Jacobs says Tottenham need to be wary of Saudi interest for Son Heung-min next summer. Ben Jacobs says Tottenham need to be wary of Saudi interest for Son Heung-min next summer.
ARTICLES1 day ago

Ben Jacobs urges caution regarding Tottenham ace’s long-term future in north London

Ben Jacobs says Tottenham need to be wary of Saudi interest for Son Heung-min next summer Speaking to TalkSport popular...

Rudy Galetti confirms that Tottenham have an agreement to sell Davinson Sanchez. Rudy Galetti confirms that Tottenham have an agreement to sell Davinson Sanchez.
ARTICLES2 days ago

Journo confirms Tottenham have an agreement to sell dynamic South American star

Rudy Galetti confirms that Tottenham have an agreement to sell Davinson Sanchez Italian journalist Rudy Galetti has given an update...

Fabrizio Romano confirms that Tottenham are about to ship out Tanguy Ndombele. Fabrizio Romano confirms that Tottenham are about to ship out Tanguy Ndombele.
ARTICLES2 days ago

Fabrizio Romano Tottenham are about to ship out midfield outcast

Fabrizio Romano confirms that Tottenham are about to ship out Tanguy Ndombele According to popular Italian journalist Fabrizio Romano, Tottenham...

Tottenham baffled by Hugo Lloris decision to snub Nice on deadline day . Tottenham baffled by Hugo Lloris decision to snub Nice on deadline day .
ARTICLES2 days ago

Tottenham baffled by veteran star’s decision to snub deadline day switch

Tottenham baffled by Hugo Lloris decision to snub Nice on deadline day According to the Evening Standard, Tottenham Hotspur have...